Thursday, December 31, 2009

4th race under the belt!

Ok, so Dec. 31st still, 9:22pm as I type this and... I DID IT! I completed the 5ª Sant Silvestre de Girona this afternoon, at 6. It was a 5.4k race. 1000 runners. A wonderful atmosphere. Such a lively race. Streets packed with people... really lovely. I walked 1 minute of it and now think I could have done without but it's ok, I did it and that's it. I finished in 36:38 official time, 36:28 according to my stop watch. Oh well, I'll take it either way! It's been a 6:45 min/km. And to think that only a month and 2 days ago when I run the Jean Bouin in Barcelona, my 5k time was 36:44! I did 34:59 on Sunday and if this had been a 5K my time would have been a little less than 34 minutes... woot! I did go *fast* for me and I could tell. Had to slow down as my heart was telling me to...

So, there goes 2009, 4 races under my belt only after 4 months of starting running... I think I can be proud of it and I am.

Hoping for a very runny 2010!

Last minutes of 2009. Kids are in bed. They'll wake up to a new year in the am, a wonderful year!

About being a proud mom... there's more. When I picked Paula up at camp, the headmistress and the best gymastics coach ever was there. I never have the chance of talking to her. Today I did. She told me how well Paula's doing, how much she's improving and what a hard worker she is... wow... I wasn't even touching the ground! Firs competition for her is on Feb. 6th, secons on Feb. 20th and third on March 13th. She says she wants to win, LOL! Did some talking on that. She's already a winner!

Happy New Year!

One proud mom!

It's December 31st, the last day of 2009, where on earth did time go??? Geez... time flies, I'm getting old, LOL!

Last, and 4th, race of the year today at 6pm... only started running 4 months ago and I will have 4 races under my belt this year... I'm so happy! And so proud!

Jan, my lovely, caring, sweet 4 year old is home sick with a double ear infection and strep throat. He's such a trooper though. He's not complaining or anything, a champ! So proud of him. He's so sensitive. I love him!

Pol, my, as of yesterday, 14 month old went (with me) for a blood test today about his allergies. He did soooooooooooo well. I'm so proud. He cried but never moved... he's adorable too! I then dropped him off at daycare, happy as could be!

Paula's at gym camp until 3:15pm. She loves it. Was so happy to go despite her brother not going today. She's so lively and sweet! Met one of her gym coaches at the docs where she goes. Got the chance of talking to her for a while which was nice since I never got to do it. And here's where I go even prouder... she told me how Paula's really gifted for gymnastics... I thought I'd cry. She also said she's an excellent *student*, always paying attention and doing as is told... that's my girl! First competiton coming up on Feb. 6th!!!! I'm so proud!

So, Dec. 31st, 2009 is fading away. One race to go in only 6 hours and then whatever 2010 brings. I will set a race schedule to keep me going. I can do it, I need to do it, I want to do it!

Bring 2010 on... ready or not... here it comes!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

2 days to 2010

Wow is all I can say... where on earth did time go??? Another year gone by already... geez... I'm getting old, LOL!

Had a couple peaceful days. Lots of tyding today which is great! Finally put our tree up... yes... on Dec. 29... guess better late than never... most people are bringing theirs down and we only just put ours up... ho-hum... Lots more tyding to do still, hopefull I manage!

Wanted to go for a short easy run today but can't fit it in. I'm under the weather and extremely tired I wonder if I'm coming down with something. Will try to fit it in tomorrow morning if I can... hubby's away and middle son's got a fever as I type. Hoping it's just a few hours thing. Will fit it in no matter what... will just have to wait for hubby to be back I guess :)

Kids are going to gym camp these days and loving it! Pol's going to daycare as usual. He loves it too!

Running my last and 4th race for 2009 on the 31st... it seemed so far away yet it's only around the corner, wow! A dailymile friend scheduled her races for 2010. Her race calendar looks awesome, such a motivator. I might copy the idea to keep me going!

So far I'm going to put baby in bed and I'll follow shortly, not feeling too well. Gotta be 100% for Thursday's run!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Another one down!

So, today was La Sansi de Lloret de Mar, a 5k in Lloret (how surprising, right, LOL!). We got up and we all went over... we almost didn't make it... it was very foggy and missed the turn but we did make it! Hubby dropped me off and I run to get my bib and my chip and run back to the start. Had just enough time to put the chip on my shoe and the gun went off... perfect!

I set off slow as there were lots of people. Almost 2000 and we were all packed together but picked up my pace later (my own pace). It was a very nice day. The sun was shining, awesome atmosphere, lots of people... just great! After having run a little over 5 minutes (that's my guess) I saw hubby and the kids waving at me... it was such a booster to see them! Hubby took photos and the kids cheered along! I was full of energy. By the time I got to the roundabout, 12 minutes into the race, the leaders were coming back. They had about 800 meters to go (another guess). The winner finished in 14:23 and the second, just a second after (he's the organizer of the race!). People kept coming in, it was great!

We run along the seaside... it was just so nice and peaceful despite all the people, I loved it! I run all the race although my brain was telling me that walking a little would be ok... I ignored it and I run... I'm so happy. At the bend right as I was entering the stadium, I spotted my family again... what a boost of energy! The kids seemed so proud of mommy! I didn't know but I still had to run a lap at the stadium... it was neverending, but in the end, I did cross that finish line, happy as could be! I figured my time would be around 35 minutes... and I clocked it... 34:59, even better, LOL! I was 1804 out of 1902, the 408 woman out of 471... not bad for having started running with C25K only 4 months ago... I'm happy, I'm proud, I'm satisfied... great accomplishment. Lots to improve but lots done already!

So I got my Powerade which was delicious and came in really handy and went to get my back of goodies. Came back, fed Pol his lunch (he was starving, poor soul!). Went back for another pack of goodies since I still had my slip for it :p (it wasn't picked up the first time around...), got Pol walking, stopped at the park for the kids to play a little and headed back home with a smile on my face!

Upon arriving, Pol went straight down for his nap, we had our lunch and will have a nice quiet afternoon at home!

One more to go on Dec. 31st... just can't wait! Is this addictive or what???

Kids were great and keep saying they had a blast... gotta love them!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

One down... two to go!

So... it is Boxing Day. My first race of the 3 planned was this am... I did it!

I arrived in Riudellots about only 15 minutes before the race was starting. I got my bib number: 265 and headed to the start. It started raining as the gun shot. The start was uphill, ho-hum. I could tell I wasn't in my best shape but still I got going. I took some little walk breaks. Walked about 7 minutes total. I did the 7ks in a slow 52:18. I think that if I had run it all I would have obviously been slightly faster. Still I'm proud. I got out there and I did it... yay me!

As I had just 1k to go I saw my family... that was a booster... I was so happy to have them there although I knew they wouldn't make it to the finish line. The kids were happy and proud of their mom... they're such sweethearts! We stayed and played a little in a park. They loved it. Came back home, I fed Pol, showered, put Pol down for his nap, got lunch ready, ate, took a nap... it's been great so far! Last night was great! Little Pol slept from 8pm until 9:45am... almost 14 hours... what a wonderful Xmas gift, the best ever!

La Sansi de Lloret tomorrow, 5k awaiting me... am I ready? You bet... Lloret... here I come... and my family is coming too, woohoo!!!!

Happy Boxing Day!

Friday, December 25, 2009

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

December 25th... the year is coming to an end! Merry Christmas!!!!

Had Christmas dinner last night at mom's. Didn't feel like I was eating that much but was stuffed and still am 24 hours later, sigh... the kids had a great time! We did the "tió" and they had a blast... they were so happy with what they got even if it was only a few "cagades" and mostly candy, chocs, a book and a little token. So nice to see how happy they were with little stuff. They're adorable! They were all very well behaved!

The dinner was lovely as usual. Mom's Christmas dinner is always worth waiting for throughout the year. Despite always being the same we can't wait for it! No major gifts for the grownups as usual, just a little something, only that I was forgotten, ho-hum, fixed in the end, but the fact is that I was forgotten...

Paula and Jan stayed behind and slept and my sister's with all the other cousins, 6 kids total with 1 adult... she's a trooper! They had a whale of a time. Went back this am to collect them. They had all been good and loved staying! We came back home with little Pol. He was an angel all night at mom's, in the car on the way back and at night... he slept through till 9:45 when the phone woke us up! That was a lovely Christmas present! Pol had lunch at mom's we drove back and Pol went straight down for his nap. We had lunch and then Toni took the other two over to his sister's and I followed when Pol woke up. He took a 3 hour nap and I managed to get an over 1 hour one after the eldest were gone! It was nice at SIL's. Kids had a great time too. Everyone was very well behaved... lovely!

Came back home. Put Pol straight in bed, we had so many late nights lately... Kids had a little dinner and in bed too. Hopefully they'll sleep long tomorrow and make up for all these last late nights!

On Wednesday Paula had her gymnastics festival and it was great! She did really well. I'm so proud! She's lovely and could tell she knew what to do all the time! So that was a late night, then Xmas eve, then Xmas night at my sister's and then today so hopefully everyone sleeps in tomorrow am!

It is 11:18pm and I'm exhausted. I am racing tomorrow at 11... I am not fit nor ready for it... but I'm doing it no matter what. I am also racing, well, I run, but in a race, LOL, the day after tomorrow. And... my family might come! It would be so nice!

I need to get some rest. I really do... I look so tired and puffed... time to be good. Tomorrow looks like the perfect day for a new beginning, doens't it?

Good night and a very Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Geez... update needed!

Oh well... here I am. December 23rd and haven't blogged in a while... shame on me! I wonder if it's got anything to do with my bad habits lately... ho-hum...

I'll be clear... I haven't been good this past week. Actually I've been very bad. I wonder how I mess up so easily when it's so hard to get there... why is it so easy to fall off the wagon? After all the effort I've made... as I've stated before, in other posts, I do need to get my eating under control, but... how??? That's the question!

Ok, so I went running last Wednesday and didn't get a run in again until today, again... shame on me. Plus with all the excess food I've eaten and not precisely healthy stuff... my run was slow, short and horrible, ho-hum... Well... I paid my price... I can't expect to keep things going if i don't work for them, so there... hope I've learnt my lesson!

Other than that, Pol's been quite sick with a very bad bronchitis. Had to go to hospital and all but he's a champ and is finally recovering well. We've had 3 great nights in a row... I know... I shouldn't state it but... I had to wake him up at 8:30 today, felt so bad, he was sleeping sooooooo soundly... he's a cookie! Paula and Jan are at gym camp now that school is off for the Holidays. Hoping all's going well. I know it is for Paula. It's Jan I'm most worried about but I'm sure he's having fun! Swimming, theater, crafts, gym... sounds like a blast! They're doing great. Both brought their school albums home and we couldn't be more proud! Paula's report is excellent! I love my kids, in case someone didn't know, LOL, they're my life. I'm so thankful for them!

Also, had 2 work dinners... one last Friday where we paid our own food and one on Monday, offered by the school... oh my... I'm speechless... it was so nice. I feel so prou of working there. People are soooooooooooooo nice, so human, so lovely! We had a lovely meal (standing up) and then we sang a bit, we laughed a lot and... we got a Christmas present... yes! Never had one from work and I'm sooooooooooooo excited... a ham in a lovely little reusable bag and a hand made brooch... absolutely adorable! A Christmas card with a little Christmas angel signed by all the members of the management comission... amazing... with something written from everyone, a personalized card... amazing... they had to do 160 of them... amazing!

So... Christmas is here... I wonder where time's gone... I'm getting old!

Oh, it's raining... Paula's gym show is tonight. Can't wait. She was recently moved to an upper group called competition 1 and is loving it and learning lots despite having a nasty girl in the group that bosses and bullies her about. She's learning to ignore her, WTG Paula!

Ok, off to to some work! Will try updating sooner!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Staying on track

Woohoo for me!

Just got back from a great run! And it didn't start that great... that's even better! Well... I did my long walk to the starting point, all uphill. Got there and started running after redoing my shoe laces and turning my music on. At first I felt really light and great but about 300 meters later at the most, I started feeling really heavy and thought I might have to cut it short. But, I kept going. It was going good and by the end of the run I had the runner's high... it was amazing. I think I was running in the best running form I've ever had (I think). I just loved it!

I have been good with my food also all week so I'm really proud! I am going out to dinner tomorrow night with my friends and will have regular food, but I think I can afford it after today's run! Also going for lunch with friends and kids on Sunday but will have run before so I think I can eat *normal* too! I've just got to be careful and not overdo it!

So, on Sunday, TV3 has "la marató" on. In Girona, 2 guys from a running club will be running marathon distance by doing loops around the city. Anyone can join and cooperate. I've decided I'll go joing them at the beginning so I'll have someone to run with. The loop is about 1.1k. I'll do about 5 laps (if I can), I'll get my run in and I'll cooperate with the cause... couldn't get any better! Well, at least that's the plan!

Only 16 days until de Sant Silvestre Riudellotenca... wow... time flies! Can't wait!

Kids are good. Paula and Pol are full of a cold but doing ok. Paula's very excited because she's doing a new *dance* at gym since she's in the new group, for the *festival* on the 23rd. She's loving it! Jan's lovely, he's such a sweet little boy. I love my kids!!!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Uh oh...

Geez... I walked away from temptation, I managed to do it twice but the third time... damn! I did it... I had some bread with chocolate spread, and then a few nuts, just a couple and some chocolate... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh... why can't I have control??????

Oh well... onto a healthy afternoon and a run in the evening, hopefully!

Morning

Yet another sleepless night... well... I mean Pol woke up at 4 and I didn't fall asleep again unti 6, sigh... There's something we can see about this child... he's great and fine during the day... there's something we're missing. We'll get there eventually, sooner than later I hope, it's just a matter of finding what it is! Anyway, he fed, as usual and went straight back to sleep. He's such a good kid! Restless but great!

It is cloudy and it looks cold. I'd really like to go do some Christmas shopping (to get the odds and ends I still have to get) to get it over and done with. But of course, I can't bring the children along... I might take Pol and have Toni take the kids to the park, that might work!

I am hoping for a run later on although my energy level right now is closer to 0 than anything else. I'm sure running will wake me up, LOL!

Have lost another kg so I'm happy with that. I'm really working hard at it. Very little dinner at night and quality food during the day. I just hope not to gain any during the holidays. I'd be ok with keeping the weight! My plan's not to eat a lot, then again when I get them anxiety attacks, who knows what I can do, sigh.

Only 18 days until the Sant Silvestre Riudellotenca (www.riudellots.com/acer/ss_2009.html)... wow... need to get out there and do all my runs. I run a 10K the other day, surely I can run this 7K, can't I?

And, only 19 days for the Sansi in Lloret de Mar (www.santsilvestredelloret.com). My only concern is running 2 days in a row but I'm sure I can manage.

And then, a few days of rest... just little easy runs here and there, because... only 23 days until the 5ª Sant Silvestre de Girona (www.championchip.cat/inscripcions/inscripcion.asp?carrera=106). We'll see what I do from there. But I'm really excited to have all these races ahead. Will help with the Xmas eating for sure, LOL!

Kids are doing good. Pol's a little fussy. He's got a cold but he's a trooper, he'll do great!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Another week ahead

Well... Monday again... time just seems to fly these days... I must be getting old, LOL!

Eating wise, let's see... I had some bread with chocolate spread yesterday as a snack, so that wasn't *allowed*, after that I've been very good though... so easy to spoil things, so hard to be a good girl :p But I do have to say I'm really proud of today... we went out to a Xmas tree fair in Espinelves, a town nearby. We got there late and ended up having lunch there. There was a menu and we could choose from different things. As starters there was "fideua" and thought I'd have it since I just simply love it. But, when I actually came to the food court... I took a salad... yes, say what???? Yes, a salad! I had some lamb to follow and was about to have a chocolate and cream desert but... no... I took mandarins... I still can't belive I was that good, I'm so proud :)

And... I went for a run last night. Decided to do a long warmup walk all the up to the top of the mountain and take it from there. And that's what I did. It was a great run... always tired at the beginning... I wonder if that feeling will ever go away... it lasts a while... but I kept going until I went into "auto mode" as I call it. I'm still slow... still carrying lots of extra weight... it's actually like carrying a backpack with 5 gallons of water or milk... it is a heavy backpack after all. Anyway, I'm doing it and I couldn't be prouder! I run 5.254K in 37:57. Yes, slow, but yes, better 5 than 0!!!!

Kids are doing great... Pol never napped while out there, but he did when we got home at 3:30 pm... woke him up by 5:30 or else... he woke up happy and has been running around as usual. Paula and I went grocery shopping for some little odds and ends we needed to get. It's a holiday tomorrow but everything's open still it's nice to have things already! We also went to the greengrocer's, the chemist and the paper shop to get a little toy for Jan and a book for Paula (she prefered that to a toy!).

Feeling extremely tired... my eyes are puffed and this today after Pol slept all night... what's wrong with me?

Hoping for another run tomorrow. Might try 2 split runs, one in the am and one in the pm... we'll see if it can happen! Organization is the key, organization is the key, organization is the key (that's a note to self)

Only 19 days until my 7k... time flies! And 20 days unitl my 5K, oh dear... can I do 2 runs back to back? Of course I can!!!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Fell off the wagon again but...

Only a little... had McDonald's for dinner... oops... that was last night. Back on track today. No run yesterday either... I'm sooooooooo tired... Pol wakes up twice a night now and I don't get proper rest... haven't had for over a year now :

Other than that... it's a 4 day weekend and it's going to be great!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Just marking my spot

It's been a few days so I thought I'd write something...

The week's good so far... I've been able to control my eating wich is my biggest effort so I'm happy about it. Saw the nutritionist on Tuesday. I've lost 2 more kg and all fat so that's good too! If after doing all I've done with the food I still lost, imagine if I'd been good... better not, LOL! Not seing him again until Jan 12th... after the holidays... thank goodness for those races in between to make all the food go down!

I'm a very proud mom, proud of all my 3 kids... Pol, the youngest is walking better and better each day... something clicked in the last 24 hours and now he's on his feet 90% of the time... amazing! He's really lively and communicates great! Jan, my middle man is my love... he's such a sweet little boy. He's reading and writing really well, behaves well at school and teacher says he's very smart. Paula, my eldest and only girl has just been moved up at gymnastics... and... they've put her in COMPETITION 1... that's her group... she only started on March 1st. Her flexibility then was 0, so was the strength on her arms and look at her now... I'm so proud... she loved it today, she's the youngest in her group too!

Went for a run yesterday and used my GPS! It was great... a lovely run, my fastest yet, LOL... as slow as I was, it was my fastest, hahahahaha... can't help it. But it was great... I felt really "light". Nothing was hurting anymore, after being very sore Monday and Tuesday so that's why I headed out. Hoping to go again tomorrow and hoping for a daylight run on Sunday... we'll see!

I had a *down* moment on Monday or Tuesday... I saw the finish line video from the 10K race on Sunday... geez... I hated what I saw but then again, I turned it around and I know think of it as something to look at as I improve. Hopefully I'll see a difference in time and that will remind me of how far I've come... also... that video would be unthinkable of only 2 months ago so... jsut staying with the bright side of it!

There's no point in looking back. What's been done's been done, so why cry or waste time over it... move ahead, head up!

I realised on Sunday that running isn't about age, or sex, or weight really, it's just about getting out there and doing it, training and you can do it no matter how old, how fat or anything else!

So... I have a dinner next Friday with friends, then we're going away the weekend after and then it's Xmas... I need to control my eating... I can do it... just do it!!!!!! (that's a note to self...)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

First race down!

Here I am... it's been a crazy week... haven't been specially good food wise but I think I can get back on track!

I turned 39 yesterday and it was a great day. I am blessed with a wonderful family and some good friends... not much more I could ask for really! I even got a few presents... I'm over the moon! I got an MP3 player to go running from my friends, a tin for biscuits/cookies from my brother and sister in law filled with chocolates, money from mom and grandma and... a GPS to know the exact distance I run and a laptop... I'm thrilled! It was a lovely day.

And... I ran my first 10K today... my first in 3 years... I went to Barcelona. Got up at 6:30, everything was ready. Got dressed and headed over. Met my brother and off we went... the atmosphere was awesome... over 6,000 people ready to run... amazing, fantastic, awesome... cool! The gun went off or whatever it was since I didn't hear it and we set off... lost my brother right away... everyone was passing me until I was last for most of the race... the ambulance and the police bikes behind me, but I kept going, my own race at my own pace and little by little I got to the end... I crossed the 5K mark at 36:49, which is a PB for the time being. I came in... everyone cheering, my brother waiting... it was great... I clapped back at the people and crossed the finish line with my arms up... after all I did it... I run the full thing and I finished... a big accomplishment... I'm really proud of my achievement! So, on to the next run... can't wait!

Best of all... I run pain free all the time... I'm in shock and sooooooooo happy! The only thing that hurts/bothers me is a couple of blisters on my right foot, other than that, it's great!

My kids are great... they've been cheering from home and are too proud of their mom... I have a perfect family!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Off track big time...

Not a good day, not a good week... not in a good mood, pretty upset actually...

I can't control my eating and it drives me nuts. I hate not being able to control myself. What the heck is wrong with me? I just want to have control, I want to be/feel normal. I don't want to hide to eat (doesn't happen often but have done at times). I want to keep to what I have to do... how to do it? How to do it? How to do it??? Argh!

Ate bad yesterday and today... big shame on me... need to get under control, I really do...

No running today either. Did go on Tuesday only to have my knees starting to act up... and a groin pull... but I'm running on Sunday no matter what. Can't go running tomorrow, won't go Saturday since the race is on Sunday and want to keep off my feet so... no running until the race itself. It'll go well, I know I can do it!

Have been told I'm negative today... I didn't like it. I didn't expect it either. Need to work on my self esteem. Don't know how to... enough said!

So, not the best of days at all. Hoping for better days ahead.

Kids are great. Love them and they love me. I do think I'm the best mom they could have and they consider me a great mom too, thank goodness for that. They're my life! Pol's now standing up without needing to hold on to anything... he's growing fast. He's fun to be around! Paula's reading like a big girl and enjoying discovering the stories in books. Jan's very bright and doing great at school... I'm so proud. Also, Paula's going into a higher group at gym... Yes, I'm a proud mom!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Another bad weekend

I can't believe I did it again... my eating's been bad all weekend... I'm impossible, why, just WHY can't I control it? What's wrong with me? I'm old enough you know... I hate not being able to control myself when there's food around... argh!

Had a horrible run yesterday. I went in the am... I was soooooooooooooooo looking forward to it... running in daylight... yet, it was dreadful... I figured through google maps satellite that I run 5.450m in 42:48... quite slow but nontheless another run under the belt. The plan is to run Tuesday and Thursday this week to allow time for the body to rest before the 10K on Sunday. Hope it works. I don't know wether my thyroid had anything to do on that bad run, or running in the am when I always run in the evening or maybe not allowing the body an extra 12 hours to recover... maybe it was just meant to be this way... I don't know... I'll never know I guess... Also, I took a gel with cafeine before... never again... it was good for nothing.. I think I would have felt the same without it, so... no more gels here!

Went to the chocolate fair today. It was nice but I of course had chocolate...as I said... no control... shame on me!

It's been a nice weekend with the family but I've totally screwed my eating... I weighed myself on Friday for a total loss of 6.4kg since I started on October 12th... surely I've put some of it back with all that bad eating... I'm amazed at the amount of food my stomach can bear... it's disgusting!

Everything's ready for tomorrow. Kids and I have our clothes ready, breakfasts are ready too. Hopefuly all goes smoothly in the am and get to work in time!

Need to gain control, I need to be able to be better than my brain and not let it make me do such things... hope I manage some day...

Signed up for 3 more races: a 7K on Dec. 26th, a 5K on the 27th and a 5.4K on the 31st. First 2 in the am, last one at 6pm. Can't wait... will be good to make up for the Xmas eating!

Bedtime now... I need my rest!

Oh... almost forgot... love my babes!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Woohoo run!!!

Just quick... gotta go to bed... can't be late for work tomorrow... we're going on a morning trip and buses leave on time!

Had a great day. I'm controling my eating. Had pizza craving today (don't know why... not to keen on it...) but didn't have any... so I'm doing really well.

I was tired but went for a run anyway and it was a truly awesome run... lovely... I enjoyed it very much... I'm so happy I went! Did 3.28 miles in 38:47!!!! I can't wait for my 10K... I think I can do it... I will enjoy it to the max, no matter what the pace is!

Kids are great... they're so cute and lovely... I love them!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Under control... at least today!

Ok, so I was good yesterday and have been good today... I eat so much salad that I think I'll end up turning green... not that I don't like it, but it's the same everyday and it gets sort of boring to say the least... oh well... what to do!

So, good two days in a row, and easily controled so I'm happy about it. Let's hope it stays this way!

Went for a *short* run yesterday 29'42" and 2.5 miles... best pace yet although far from perfect. Still, happy with it, specially after it took me a big effort to get out there. I also run pain free and that was very nice. Out again tomorrow and then Saturday (that's the plan at least) in order to then go Monday, Wednesday and Friday and be all ready and rested for my race on Sunday. Can't wait... being with my brother will be super special even if we're only together to set off and then meet back at the end. It'll be fun. I know the atmosphere will be great and it will keep me going. I know I can do it... I was on my feet for 1 hour and 7 minutes the other day so... just a bit more and I'll cover my 10k. My aim is to finish, I'll be happy with that!

Kids are good... Pol had a temperature yesterday but it went just as it came... amazing.. .had a great day today... he's a trooper. Love my kids. Never get tired of saying it... they're my life.

Read some really good quotes today, quotes found on the course of marathons and halves... too funny but really motivating... will think about them to keep me going!

Time for bed... 11:15 again... will I ever get to bed at a decent time????

Monday, November 16, 2009

Not that hard

Well... back on track and it wasn't at all hard (so far)... it's easy also being at work and having to follow a schedule, not having a fridge near by or a cabinet full of goodies... still... I did it no problem and I'm proud of it! I have to learn I can eat something *not allowed* but that's it... the fact that I have something doesn't mean I have to get out of control and keep eating and eating... I consider myself an overeater, a compulsive overeater (don't know if it makes sense) and I'm sort of taming myself into having control. Hard when food is the *enemy*... but trying!

No running today since I went yesterday and like to allow a full day's rest to the body. Plus yesterday's run was looooooooooooong. I think I am ready for my 10K... I know what it is to run/be on my feet for over an hour so I'm hoping I do well... just want to finish. I'll be happy with that!

Kids are great! Paula's back 100%. Just realized how peaceful it was in the mean time, LOL! Jan's a teddy... he's adorable! And Pol's on the go... growing really fast, communicating really well, doing more and more everyday... I love my kids, I adore them... they're my life!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

A long run

Ok, so after the bad eating and the binging I've sort of made up for it. Went for a long, slow run... I run for a total of 1hour, 07minutes and 13 seconds. Distance was 5.16 miles... only 0.84 more miles to make 6, that's how far I'll be running on the 29th... think I can make it. On the not so bright side... I run in pain... my leg hurts, but I don't want to stop... I've been stopped for 3 years, and that's more than enough.

I hope I've learnt my lesson and I control my eating again... it's sooooooooo easy to spoil/fall off the wagon. And it's so difficult to keep on track... but it's got to be done. I've got great reasons to do it so... here I come!

I love running... I will run a marathon when the day comes!!!

Out of control

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa please help... how can I be so daft as to spoil things this was after the huge effort I've been doing for over a month???? I hope this is the end of it... going for a run tonight no matter what and getting back in track as of now... I'm old enough!

Extremely tired... nights are crazy with baby but no excuses... I must control myself, go running as planned and be good!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Bad girl

Been bad all day... after all it's taken me to be good and I spoil it by esting trash... sigh... No more comment...

Friday, November 13, 2009

Cheated

And big time... not only did I have a little candy at school... I had McDonald's for dinner... bummer! Why did I do it? Plus, I didn't get to go running since I had to take Paula to the ER... well... tomorrow will be a better day I'm sure!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tired

I am tired today... Pol wakes up at night and I go to bed late. It's 10.30 pm now... maybe I shouldn't be blogging and should be in bed... I really need to rest some or else...

Things at work are good although the 5s are not interested in the new project and are being pesty, oh well... ho-hum!

Been good food wise yet one more day. Hoping for a nice run tomorrow. I know I'll be tired when I go but I'll go anyway! Need to do my strength training... I'm sure it would improve my performance a lot!

Kids are good, Paula's still hoarse and not as lively as usual but otherwise ok.

Not much more... going to look for a CD... will need lots of luck!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A good day

Well, just that... a good day... work was good. I like my coworkers very much, we make a good team. We work hard and I'm seing results... I'm happy!

Kids are great... love them to bits. Paula went to gym and had a great time. School was good too! Jan was good and happy. And Pol was super sweet and very empathic (if the word exists...), he's great! What a lucky mom I am!

And I went for a run... I clocked 3.28 miles in 40:19. Slow but a bit better... loved my run... hard at the beginning but then, it went on its own...it was great. Can't wait for the race on the 29th... I imagined my Paula crossing the finish line with me and my eyes watered... too bad they won't be there. I'd love them to be... it'd be sooooooooooooo special to have them with me!

So all in all a good day... have no veg/salad at home now so I guess it'll be fruit for dinner!

Off to have a shower... I well deserve it!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Another day

Yet another day... just a day... been good food wise... haven't had the yogurts though... I just coulnd't face them, but nothing forbidden today!

Had a few things done... finally sent the photos in to be printed so my lovely daughter will be super happy! I have played with the kids, fed Pol mid-afternoon to see if he was in better spirits... he just wanted to go to bed! Spoon fed him at night. We'll see how that goes... he loved it though! He's growing sooooooooooo fast... my baby...

Lovely run yesterday. Hoping for another one tomorrow. Only 19 days til race day... so exciting, yet so nervous!

Paula's been reading in English understanding everything she read... I'm over the moon!

I love my kids... they're the best thing that's ever happenned to me... thank you babes!

Monday, November 9, 2009

A good did

Monday again... back to work. Work went good. Did lots of stuff and love my work mates. The kids weren't too bad and the 2 worse ones of all weren't there so it was quite pleasant.

I was good food wise today. Wasn't hungry at all so that's good, very good! I did have a little extra yesterday but I think I'm not overdoing it at all!

I went for a run. I felt tired, my legs feel really tired but did my best time yet. Nothing to shoot rockets about but made up for my run on Friday and my disappointment after it. I just love the feeling after running... it's amazing! I had an energy gel before going. I don't think it did anything then again, I don't know what would've happenned if I hadn't taken it! Running my 10K on the 29th... only 20 days to go! Counting today's run, I should get 9 runs in before the 10K so hopefully I get there in good shape!

Really tired so off to bed I go, it's 11 pm, bout time I went, right?

I'm going to do this, I can do this... control is my pending subject... being able to control when there's good food about but easy does it. I hope I've lost a bit more before my 39th birthday on the 28th. The race is my self present! I think running with my brother will be great even if I only see him at the beginning and then at the end where he'll be waiting for me!

I can do it!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Been bad...

Hello! I'm here again... it's been a few days I think.

I am really tired so I should really be heading to bed but I thought I'd update first. It's been a good week at work. Things are falling into place and it's so much nicer and *easier* (as easy as it can get). I'm enjoying it and loving my work mates.

Both Paula and Pol had a temperature yesterday but have been ok today. Let's hope they're on the mend! Jan's been soft but holding on.

Run 3 times this week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Didn't go today cause we've been out all day and got home too late. It was late, cold and I was exhausted. My runs were good. I took a *test* on Friday to see how far I could go pushing it. I was disappointed... I thought I'd have run faster but no... a bit discouraging, then again, I guess I was tired from running Monday and Wednesday and after not having run 10 days before that. Anyway, that was the run and it's now time to look ahead and never back. The thing is that I have the 10K on the 29th and right now I feel like I won't be able to do it :(

I saw the doc about my leg and he said it's fine but it hurts a bit... I'll see how it feels on my next runs. Also saw the nutritionist. I'm 5k down so that's good! Also saw a trainer and he'll design my very own training program, thus the *test* I took on Friday. With the data I gave him, he'll design a program to fit my needs. Can't wait!

Controled my eating all week but failed today. Went to a friends house and after having a salad for lunch I have some ice cream and some chocolate biscuits in the pm... oh well... time to look ahead again and be good, keeping on track!

Hoping to run 3 times next week too at least. Got to get ready for my 10K with my bro... it's going to be great having him with me although he'll take off and we'll meet again at the end!

Ok, gotta get things ready for the am. I'll keep updating. Need to chin up... a good rest would do!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Falling off the wagon...

Hi! It's been a little while... been away and just have had no time for anything. But now I have a moment so... here I am!

My little Pol, my little baby's 1 already... he was one on Friday... now, how on earth did that happen? Time's gone by way too fast... not while at it but looking back... my gosh... a year ago I was at hospital. Pol was a tiny baby that could do nothing on his own and look at him now... I so treasure those memories!

Ok... it's been the city's fair so we only had a 3 day week (working wise) last week and it was special with special things planned everyday which made it even more special. Loved it as children had lots of fun!

On Thursday we headed for Port Aventura, a huge amusement park about 2 hours drive from us. The kids had an absolut blast... it was just sooooooooo worth it... such a lovely family time together! Instead of going to the fair in town which is filthy and expensive we went over and slept over too. Found a great offer and can't wait to have that offer again and go back. Seing the spark in my kid's eyes was priceless!!! Loved every minute of it although Paula was scared of the vampires... after all it was Halloween!!!! So we went on Thurs and came back on Fri. The night at the hotel was great and in the am we were all awake waiting for birthday boy to wake up... too funny... he made us wait until 8:45, what a champ!

Yesterday was a very easy day... not much except taking baby to the docs... a double ear infection... decided to take his temp as I felt him hot, otherwise, no symptoms! He's been ok since except for today at snack time when he's thrown it all up... he had a temp again, which he hadn't had since yesterday... shocking to say the least. Thanks heaven for Dalsy (ibuprofen), he's happy as can be! Will be taking antibiotic for a week and hopefully he's feeling all better tomorrow... also 2 teeth, actually 3, coming through... poor fella, all at once!

We went to the fair today just to take a look. We had told the kids no rides since we had gone to the amusement park already and 2 days in a row but we said just 1 ride and they were thrilled although they could tell the difference! They had a blast and were so thankful we let them go on that one ride. They're really cute! I loved the food and crafts fair, as usual, although there were lots less stalls due to the crisis, still it was very nice and we went early enough not to find lots and lots of people on *the* day, since the whole province is in the city!

We've spent the afternoon at home since Pol had a temperature again. We did blow a candle for his 1st birthday and we sang happy birthday to him... he's such a cutie pie! Now dad's taken Paula and Jan to his parents to see the fireworks from their balcony and I'm staying home with baby to put him in bed as usual. It's so nice and peaceful!

As for me... have fallen a bit off the wagon, not 100% but haven't been as good as I should have... eating wise I've had a few forbidden items and I haven't run in a week... I don't know what's up wether it's the weather/season, my thyroid or just me but I'm extremely exhausted. Funny now that Pol's sleeping the night through and so I am I'm more tired than ever... I have new shoes and want to get out there... I'm sure the light savings thing's got to do with it because it's since we changed the time I haven't been running. I have a 10K race on Nov. 29th so I better get my butt into gear!

I have to be a good girl. It's all about control. I can do it. I have to do it. Just do it Jacky... it only depends on you girl... it's just that food is so yummy... darn food!

Love my kids!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Falling off the wagon

Went to mom's yesterday. We were celebrating my brother's birthday (next Tuesday), my nephew Harry's birthday (he was 3 on the 22nd), my sister-in-law's birthday (was Oct. 8) and my baby's 1st birthday (next Friday). Didn't eat a lot, but had a regular lunch: asparagus, hard boiled egg, a little bread, tuna fish, some chicken and... cake... little dinner after that.

Wanted to go for a long run today to make up for it but woke up full of a head cold and run down so... no run today. Also *cheated* a little today... had a mandarin, a banana, some wholewheat toast and a salad for lunch and a little square of chocolate... and all this with no run... why am I so childish? Why can't I control myself? Shame on me :(

Paula's gym was presenting the teams today so we went. They put on a little show... it was great! She's doing so well, so neat and so *clean*... she loves it!

Spent the afternoon at home, only going over to the neighbour's for a while to play. Kids were hyper...

So, on the wagon again tomorrow I hope!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Nice little run

It is late again... 11:30 pm... it's been a good week at work. I'm so glad and happy about changing jobs or better said schools since I sort of do the same! I think (let me just whisper that...) I am starting to get to my 5s...let's hope so!

Just been for a run... 41:01, 3.24 miles (5.22k)... not bad... I'm happy with the time... it's getting better! I love the feeling I'm left with after running! I wore my new shoes only to find out they're too small for me :(... how on earth did that happen?

No working tomorrow (was supposed to) so that's good. Over to mom's to celebrate Harry's birthday (he was 3 yesterday), Carol's birthday (was Oct. 8) and my brother Dani's birthday (will be Oct. 27). Should be fun. Hope all kids behave!

Eating was good today too... was about to overdo it or have *forbidden* stuff but I didn't... yay for me!

Baby Pol decided to turn the water on in the bath and the shower started going... the bathroom was flooded and we all got soaked... ho-hum!

I'd love to scrapbook... I have no time... no worries... it'll happen, it's just a question/matter of time!

Life is good!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

3rd rainy day in a row...

Yes... it's still raining... supposed to be getting better but kids were still kept inside because of the rain, so they were a bit hyper... it'll pass but while at it it's quite stressing.

I went for a 51:22 run yesterday... 4 miles exactly. So proud to have run for so long but I did have pain on my leg just as it happenned 3 years ago. My doc says not to worry about it. The weather's playing tricks on me... hopefully it's only that!

So, I'm going for it... building time and endurance. Speed will come in time... not really worried about it since I have lots of weight to lose and dragging it along doesn't make it easy!

Food wise... I had 3 forbidden things yesterday. I had a tiny sandwich in the am, had custard, a donut and a little chocolate... hopefully the run did the trick! Today I had rice for lunch which wasn't really allowed either but have been good otherwise. I hope all the effort is worth it and I see results.

I am very tired today and have a bit of a back ache but I ain't giving up. I'm meeting great people on dailymile that motivate me big time. I hope I stick to it. I can do this and must go for it!

Weighing in in the am... hoping for a loss!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Rainy day

It rained today... hadn't done so in ages so it was very much needed but of course... the kids didn't get any playground time and you could tell. Still it was a good day!

Went to my psychologist appointment today and it was great. Instead of being negative as usual, I was very positive. I'm feeling this way since I changed jobs... I work in a really nice atmosphere and you can tell. Helps with my mood! So the appointment was good. She said to see me a little later this time as she sees me progressing really well! Told her I have been eating well for a week and she was pleased to hear that and to see the effort I'm putting into it all.

Eating wise I did 2 *forbidden* things. One was have a tiny sandwich mid morning... I was hungry and that's what I felt like having and the other was a coffee after lunch that did me a lot of good... I wasn't hungry all afternoon! It's not like I over did it and had a bar of chocolate or anything... but it's the first day I have something "not" supposed to have. I feel good. I did weigh myself this am and that was a mistake because despite my being good, the scale showed 1 extra kilo... I didn't like that but then again I shouldn't weigh myself everyday or 2 days in a row for the matter. So, no more weighing until Friday and after that, until next Thursday (we're going away) and then until Tuesday because on Tuesday I'm seing the nutritionist! So there!

Work was good today. Had 12 5s missing... the class was heaven! It really went well. All classes were good today. I'm happy... I've realised I will do what I can. It's a challenge and I hope I get them to like my class and learn something. I'll try my best. If I excell, great, if not... tough. These kids have no limits or habits whatsoever. I have them an hour a day... no miracle can be expected, right???

Feeling good... was it that coffee???

Monday, October 19, 2009

Tired

It's been a good day but I'm tired... I guess my long run (for me) yesterday is sinking in, plus it's Monday, went to bed late... you get the picture, I'm sure!

I managed with my eating despite feeling really hungry and wanting to eat a little carb (just a slice of wholewehat bread) but I didn't, so I managed a week in a row... many more to come I hope!

Work was good today. Even the 5s behaved... what a blessing!

My kids have been great. I love them!

I did weigh myself this am and haven't lost any weight... that was a bit of a bummer to say the least... I am making a huge effort with the eating and I'm exercising... maybe next week! I've got to stick to it, that's for sure!

I'll keep blogging everytime I can!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

It's late...

Here I am once more and it's late... 11:34 pm when I start typing this... should be in bed but... I just had my dinner so I need for it to go down a bit before I head that way.

Today was a very nice day... first, Pol slept the night through until 8:45! Then I went with Paula to run a kid's race in the am. After the race where we met her best friend whith whom she set off running and went way ahead of me, we went t0 the park with my in-laws. They all had a great time. I met a friend's mom and a coworker. We came home, we had lunch. Pol took a 3 1/2+ hour nap... we had to wake him up! Good thing is that he woke up 1 1/2 hours into it and went back to sleep! We spent the afternoon playing at home. Pol took a few steps on his own... he's growing fast!

And once everyone was in bed... I headed out for a run. It was late and cold but I went. Decided to go where I used to run 3 years ago. Lots of hills that made me really slow, but I did it. I ran for 50:22 and did 3.8 miles in that time... really slow but... I did it. Had run 0.96 miles in the am with Paula. A total of 4.44 miles this evening including warm up and cool down. Felt great... what a nice run! I am hoping that as I shift weight off, I'll get faster... fingers crossed! I don't intend to be an Olympian but I sure pretend to improve these times... although I'm proud of all I'm achieving... that speed is far from ideal... things at their own time I guess!

And well... the weekend is over... another busy weekend next week... working Sat. am and then gym teams presentations on Sun. Birthday party for 3 on Sat. afternoon... I'm tired only thinking about it, LOL!

Ok... another good day food wise... can't believe I'm sticking to it. I just hope I see results... my jeans did feel a bit more lose today... it'll be a long road... it'll be slow but it'll be the last time riding it, I hope!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Saturday...

So it's Saturday again... time flies... my oh my... and it's getting cold... finally fall is setting in... it was wicked hot last week, really hot and unusual but it's gone to normal now. It's only that it happened from night to day... no time to re-adjust... oh well... what to do!

Another good day yet despite an outing for lunch with lots of people. I was good... didn't do any extras, stuck to my healthy habits. I'm so proud... but I do have to admit it wasn't difficult either. I didn't feel the need to eat what they were eating or taste the crisps... all felt natural... I ate what I brought and that's it!

It is windy again... I went running yesterday and wasn't going to go today. Have to let my body recover. But there's a race tomorrow. I'm doing the kid's race with my eldest. About 2km only but at least a little run with her that will be lovely for sure! I will get a *proper* run in later on if I can!

Went shopping in the evening. My big guy has no *winter* clothes... he's grown soooooooo much... so I got him a couple of jeans and a couple of pyjamas. Rest to follow!

Off to bed now... been outdoors all day, had a lovely time but I'm exhausted now!

I'm doing it... I'm slowly getting there!

Friday, October 16, 2009

A good day

Today was a good day all in all. Once more I managed not to binge or eat anything *ilegal*, which for me is huge since I'm addicted to food and more so to junk food, sweets, pastries, etc. So it's been a 5 full days without any chocolate or sugar or sweets... only healthy stuff, fruit, vegs, lots of salads, lean protein (and scarce too), 0% yogurts and water. I have lost a tinsy bit of weight but slowly does it, I guess!

Best thing is that I managed to fit a run in today... boy was it a delight... I felt free, just like everytime I run... I love that feeling... also... I left all my stress on that run... simply awesome. I'm not fast, I'm not Kenyan or Ehtiopian but I run my own race at my own pace and that's good enough. About 8 weeks ago I couldn't even run 30 seconds straight and I run 34:50 today and 44:27 the other day! It was 2.78 miles today, slow but I did it. I got out there after a full week's work, after settling all 3 kids, after being tired. I'm proud I pushed myself to go. I loved it. The air is crispy now and running's better, you feel like moving to get warm!

The kids were *better* today (the ones at work that is) so that contributed to my having a better day too.

This won't be an easy journey. I do believe, despite everyone laughing at me, I am addicted to food. It is a problem to me but noone seems to find it important, of course... it's not their problem, it's mine. So, it won't be easy but it'll be done. I'm not here by chance I'm here because I got into this so I have to get myself out of it. There will be better and worse days... I'll have to learn to deal with it and when I slip, I'll have to pick myself up and start all over and not let myself slip for days, weeks, months or years, as I have before. Yes, I do have a thyroid issue that doesn't help, but binging and eating compulsively and unhealthy, doesn't help either.

I've always wanted to run a marathon. Make no mistake... I will run it... not yet, but I will. I know I can do it. It won't be at the Olympics, but it'll be my race and to me it'll be as important as being in the Olympics.

One more day, one less day!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Not an easy road...

Just a quick note (I think). Another successful day thus far... one more meal to go before bedtime but if I haven't spoiled it up to now, I should be good the rest of the day.

There were 3 birthdays at work today: chocolate cookies, cake, sweets, candy... you name it, there it was... but it stayed there when I passed... I didn't touch it. I didn't even feel like "OMG... this is too cruel... I need one", etc... so that was good!

But don't get me wrong... I would eat and eat and eat as much as I could of anything... I can really tell the lack of carbs on my diet is an issue. But it's all for the best... we'll reintroduce carbs slowly to have a healthy *diet*, eating a bit of everything, but now I need to take care of other things and other than a tiny little slice of brown bread at breakfast, no more carbs for me throughout the day! After all it's an effort and in a way... what's a little (wait, did I say little???) effort when you know it's going to do you a world of good????

Very very very windy here. Kids were uppitty. I have a terrible headache and it's gone cold from night to day. Days are getting shorter... well, you get the picture. I didn't get to run today either. My back's still not 100% plus that wind out there is horrible and uncomfy. I hope the wind calms down by tomorow so I can get out there and run... only I know how much I NEED that run!!!!

It's not going to be easy, noone ever said it would, but it's got to be done. And afterall I'm giving myself health and care so I've got to go for it!

Time for my 2 eldest to go to bed. Baby's been asleep for a while now :)

I can do it! I have to do it! I want to do it!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

And another day....

Well, here I am... 3rd day in a row. Won't be able to post every day but I will every time I get the chance!

So this is another day without binging. Cravings have been scarce today, thank goodness! It's still not easy but it's an exercise I have to do. I want something and it'll cost me something... I won't lose what I've gained in like a year just overnight although I wish it could be!

No running for me today either. I pulled my back (at the top) this am and I'm finding it hard to keep my head in place. Hopefully it'll be all better tomorrow so I can get out and get my run in.

A not so good day at work today. Two of my groups gave me a really hard time. I felt so stupid, so useless, so nobody... one thing is having 3 or 4 badly behaved children in class, and the other is having 20 out of 25... while you're telling on off, or trying to talk to them, there's 19 more fussing and playing about... not easy... I was doing this awesome new method today in clas... noone paid attention, noone cared... it's so sad to see such young children with such lack of motivation or interest for anything... oh well... count to 100, or 1000 or more...

Kids are doing good. I'm so proud of them 3, love them to bits. They're a good reason for me to keep going!

Ok... so that's it for today... antoher successfull day eating wise. Here's to many more!

TTYS

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Right on track

Hi again. I get the chance to update today again so... here I am!

Today was good... I didn't get a run in. I didn't manage to get up in the am and was way too tired in the evening to go running. It is very windy out there. I wonder if that's got anything to do with my mood and my tiredness... who knows...

Anyway... during the day I had no problem to control my eating. Even at work 3 different co-workers brought cookies, chocolate, croissants... it was all there... I simply ignored it and felt proud about it. But when I got home in the evening... I was hungry but after eating (healthy) I was still hungry... obviously it wasn't hunger but anxiety... I, somehow (still don't know how) managed not to give in. I didn't binge, I didn't eat anything *forbidden*... it's now time to go to bed almost and I've been good all day and have been able (most importantly) to overcome that moment when I was closer to crossing the line... I feel proud, very proud... I hope I manage to go all the way... it's not an easy road... it's quite a long one too but as everything, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

So my second good day under the belt... it's supposed to get easier as I go along... let's hope it's true!

Note to self: I can do it!

Monday, October 12, 2009

The beginning of the end???

Hi! Here I am and hoping this time is for good...

I am starting this blog as I start a *new* life... a new way of living... healthier eating habits and exercising. This is it... I'm fed up of being and feeling fat and ugly. I believe I've got a lot to offer but I'm not confident enough. Enough is enough... I'm fed up of hiding. I'm fed up fo not wanting to do anything. I'm fed up of not fitting into clothes. I'm fed up of being fed up really so it's time for action (about time I'd say...)

I started back on C25K (a running program, Couch to 5K, that's supposed to get you off the couch and running 30 minutes nonstop) in mid August. I am 50lbs overweight at this point so I wasn't quite sure it'd work out, but... it has... I have graduated and last night I run for 44:27 nonstop... I didn't go a very long distance... it was a total of 3.33 miles running and then up to 3.95 adding the warm up and cool down walks. I'm loving running again. Speed will come as I lose weight (I hope). And what's most important... I managed to run all that time yesterday... PAIN FREE, yes... no pain whatsoever and loved every minute of the run... I just feel free!

As for eating habits, I saw a nutritionist and he gave me a few guides. Wants to me to NEVER be hungry... forbidden for me to be hungry so I'm to eat every 2.5/3 hours so I'm trying to see what happens! It will take a huge effort on my behalf... I'm such a foodaholic and a chocoholic but I need to get my eating under control. My thyroid isn't helping either, so that's another battle for me. I'm hoping we'll get it under control soon and all will be easier.

I do have to believe in myself though and know I can do it and it'll happen. I've had wonderful encouragement from dailymile.com and C25K as well as Sparkpeople. I have wonderful friends who believe in me so I better not let them down, or let myself down for the matter.

So this is it... here I go... I hope I get to my goal of losing 50lbs and running a bit further and faster!

If anyone's reading... thanks! :)