Tuesday, February 16, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULA!!!
















My sweet little (or should I say big??) girl is 7 today!! Happy birthday my love!

Paula's such a blessing (so are her brothers)... we were told we couldn't have children (that was the worse thing I've gone through) and while waiting to start IVF, poof... Paula comes along! What a miracle she (and her brothers) is! It was a long labor to end up in a c-section (not funny) but so worth it... my little girl, she was perfect... adorable, round, rosy cheeks... I fell in love at first sight. She's been very good always, and she's been super special, and still is.

A winner, she is a winner too... she had her first gymnastic competition on Sunday... what a champion she is. I've been very phylosofical with her about raising every time we fall, etc., about never giving up, about trying and trying and trying again... well... first competition, first exercise and boom... she falls (it was the vault)... but... no crying, no upsetting, up she stood and skipped to the coach and got ready for her second vault which she did really well. On they went onto the uneven bars... a little help and a perfect landing! Next rotation: balance beam... an almost perfect exercecise, such good body position! And to finish... floor... couldn't have done better... it was a great day, a lovely experience and she can't wait for next competition! She had a blast and that's what counts, she's loving it! She came in 6th overall out of 55 gymnasts... not to bad for a first timer!

So, she's 7... here's to many many more!

I love you Paula!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

A rough week

I haven't posted in a week or so... it's not been good, obviously... I did my training runs/exercises, every day up to Tuesday and then I don't know what happened but I just haven't been able to put my act together :( It was rest day today, so I did rest, as in not going out or running or anything...

It's been aweful at eating... I've been soooooooooo bad... after all the effort done all these months to lose 30lbs and poof... gone just like that! I can't believe it... why can't I control myself? Why can eating control me? Why is food my enemy? Why is it "calling" me all the time? And over all, why can't I say NO to it when I know I must not do it??? Why? Why? Why?

Got my carnitine today, hoping it helps me get back on track. I really need to. I want to but I just can't seem to do it (sigh). But I'm strong and I can do it, that I know... I just need to find the strenght within me and hopefully things will get back on track.

Kids are good. Boys had their hair cut yesterday. Been to a birthday party this am, little stroll with babe and my princess in the afternoon... can't wait to go to bed and rest (although I did take an over 1.5 hour nap...) although I really can't wait to eat either :(

Ok... tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life... let's go for it!