Off track big time...

Not a good day, not a good week... not in a good mood, pretty upset actually...

I can't control my eating and it drives me nuts. I hate not being able to control myself. What the heck is wrong with me? I just want to have control, I want to be/feel normal. I don't want to hide to eat (doesn't happen often but have done at times). I want to keep to what I have to do... how to do it? How to do it? How to do it??? Argh!

Ate bad yesterday and today... big shame on me... need to get under control, I really do...

No running today either. Did go on Tuesday only to have my knees starting to act up... and a groin pull... but I'm running on Sunday no matter what. Can't go running tomorrow, won't go Saturday since the race is on Sunday and want to keep off my feet so... no running until the race itself. It'll go well, I know I can do it!

Have been told I'm negative today... I didn't like it. I didn't expect it either. Need to work on my self esteem. Don't know how to... enough said!

So, not the best of days at all. Hoping for better days ahead.

Kids are great. Love them and they love me. I do think I'm the best mom they could have and they consider me a great mom too, thank goodness for that. They're my life! Pol's now standing up without needing to hold on to anything... he's growing fast. He's fun to be around! Paula's reading like a big girl and enjoying discovering the stories in books. Jan's very bright and doing great at school... I'm so proud. Also, Paula's going into a higher group at gym... Yes, I'm a proud mom!