Who/what am I?

Good question, huh?
Who knows... I don't... I don't think I am a runner at all... I like it, no... I love it but I ain't there yet. I am a mom, no question about that.
But, who/what do I want to be? I "simply" want/would like to be a happy and healthy being who could control my eating and feel "normal". May not sound like that much or that difficult but right now it's a huge challenge for me. I know that easy does it and I know it only depends on me, only.on.me
I constantly need to be reminded I can't do what I always, automatically, do. How do I do that? I am in such an auto-mode that it is hard as I simply "forget"... I do it as a habit and I need to break that habit. I have to work on thinking before acting... again, doesn't sound that bad, does it now? Well... I have been trying for the last 3 years or so without success... but I ain't going to stop trying... I will make it sooner or later but will make it for sure! I'll keep trying until I get there :D