A rough week

I haven't posted in a week or so... it's not been good, obviously... I did my training runs/exercises, every day up to Tuesday and then I don't know what happened but I just haven't been able to put my act together :( It was rest day today, so I did rest, as in not going out or running or anything...

It's been aweful at eating... I've been soooooooooo bad... after all the effort done all these months to lose 30lbs and poof... gone just like that! I can't believe it... why can't I control myself? Why can eating control me? Why is food my enemy? Why is it "calling" me all the time? And over all, why can't I say NO to it when I know I must not do it??? Why? Why? Why?

Got my carnitine today, hoping it helps me get back on track. I really need to. I want to but I just can't seem to do it (sigh). But I'm strong and I can do it, that I know... I just need to find the strenght within me and hopefully things will get back on track.

Kids are good. Boys had their hair cut yesterday. Been to a birthday party this am, little stroll with babe and my princess in the afternoon... can't wait to go to bed and rest (although I did take an over 1.5 hour nap...) although I really can't wait to eat either :(

Ok... tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life... let's go for it!