Sunday, November 29, 2009

First race down!

Here I am... it's been a crazy week... haven't been specially good food wise but I think I can get back on track!

I turned 39 yesterday and it was a great day. I am blessed with a wonderful family and some good friends... not much more I could ask for really! I even got a few presents... I'm over the moon! I got an MP3 player to go running from my friends, a tin for biscuits/cookies from my brother and sister in law filled with chocolates, money from mom and grandma and... a GPS to know the exact distance I run and a laptop... I'm thrilled! It was a lovely day.

And... I ran my first 10K today... my first in 3 years... I went to Barcelona. Got up at 6:30, everything was ready. Got dressed and headed over. Met my brother and off we went... the atmosphere was awesome... over 6,000 people ready to run... amazing, fantastic, awesome... cool! The gun went off or whatever it was since I didn't hear it and we set off... lost my brother right away... everyone was passing me until I was last for most of the race... the ambulance and the police bikes behind me, but I kept going, my own race at my own pace and little by little I got to the end... I crossed the 5K mark at 36:49, which is a PB for the time being. I came in... everyone cheering, my brother waiting... it was great... I clapped back at the people and crossed the finish line with my arms up... after all I did it... I run the full thing and I finished... a big accomplishment... I'm really proud of my achievement! So, on to the next run... can't wait!

Best of all... I run pain free all the time... I'm in shock and sooooooooo happy! The only thing that hurts/bothers me is a couple of blisters on my right foot, other than that, it's great!

My kids are great... they've been cheering from home and are too proud of their mom... I have a perfect family!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Off track big time...

Not a good day, not a good week... not in a good mood, pretty upset actually...

I can't control my eating and it drives me nuts. I hate not being able to control myself. What the heck is wrong with me? I just want to have control, I want to be/feel normal. I don't want to hide to eat (doesn't happen often but have done at times). I want to keep to what I have to do... how to do it? How to do it? How to do it??? Argh!

Ate bad yesterday and today... big shame on me... need to get under control, I really do...

No running today either. Did go on Tuesday only to have my knees starting to act up... and a groin pull... but I'm running on Sunday no matter what. Can't go running tomorrow, won't go Saturday since the race is on Sunday and want to keep off my feet so... no running until the race itself. It'll go well, I know I can do it!

Have been told I'm negative today... I didn't like it. I didn't expect it either. Need to work on my self esteem. Don't know how to... enough said!

So, not the best of days at all. Hoping for better days ahead.

Kids are great. Love them and they love me. I do think I'm the best mom they could have and they consider me a great mom too, thank goodness for that. They're my life! Pol's now standing up without needing to hold on to anything... he's growing fast. He's fun to be around! Paula's reading like a big girl and enjoying discovering the stories in books. Jan's very bright and doing great at school... I'm so proud. Also, Paula's going into a higher group at gym... Yes, I'm a proud mom!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Another bad weekend

I can't believe I did it again... my eating's been bad all weekend... I'm impossible, why, just WHY can't I control it? What's wrong with me? I'm old enough you know... I hate not being able to control myself when there's food around... argh!

Had a horrible run yesterday. I went in the am... I was soooooooooooooooo looking forward to it... running in daylight... yet, it was dreadful... I figured through google maps satellite that I run 5.450m in 42:48... quite slow but nontheless another run under the belt. The plan is to run Tuesday and Thursday this week to allow time for the body to rest before the 10K on Sunday. Hope it works. I don't know wether my thyroid had anything to do on that bad run, or running in the am when I always run in the evening or maybe not allowing the body an extra 12 hours to recover... maybe it was just meant to be this way... I don't know... I'll never know I guess... Also, I took a gel with cafeine before... never again... it was good for nothing.. I think I would have felt the same without it, so... no more gels here!

Went to the chocolate fair today. It was nice but I of course had chocolate...as I said... no control... shame on me!

It's been a nice weekend with the family but I've totally screwed my eating... I weighed myself on Friday for a total loss of 6.4kg since I started on October 12th... surely I've put some of it back with all that bad eating... I'm amazed at the amount of food my stomach can bear... it's disgusting!

Everything's ready for tomorrow. Kids and I have our clothes ready, breakfasts are ready too. Hopefuly all goes smoothly in the am and get to work in time!

Need to gain control, I need to be able to be better than my brain and not let it make me do such things... hope I manage some day...

Signed up for 3 more races: a 7K on Dec. 26th, a 5K on the 27th and a 5.4K on the 31st. First 2 in the am, last one at 6pm. Can't wait... will be good to make up for the Xmas eating!

Bedtime now... I need my rest!

Oh... almost forgot... love my babes!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Woohoo run!!!

Just quick... gotta go to bed... can't be late for work tomorrow... we're going on a morning trip and buses leave on time!

Had a great day. I'm controling my eating. Had pizza craving today (don't know why... not to keen on it...) but didn't have any... so I'm doing really well.

I was tired but went for a run anyway and it was a truly awesome run... lovely... I enjoyed it very much... I'm so happy I went! Did 3.28 miles in 38:47!!!! I can't wait for my 10K... I think I can do it... I will enjoy it to the max, no matter what the pace is!

Kids are great... they're so cute and lovely... I love them!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Under control... at least today!

Ok, so I was good yesterday and have been good today... I eat so much salad that I think I'll end up turning green... not that I don't like it, but it's the same everyday and it gets sort of boring to say the least... oh well... what to do!

So, good two days in a row, and easily controled so I'm happy about it. Let's hope it stays this way!

Went for a *short* run yesterday 29'42" and 2.5 miles... best pace yet although far from perfect. Still, happy with it, specially after it took me a big effort to get out there. I also run pain free and that was very nice. Out again tomorrow and then Saturday (that's the plan at least) in order to then go Monday, Wednesday and Friday and be all ready and rested for my race on Sunday. Can't wait... being with my brother will be super special even if we're only together to set off and then meet back at the end. It'll be fun. I know the atmosphere will be great and it will keep me going. I know I can do it... I was on my feet for 1 hour and 7 minutes the other day so... just a bit more and I'll cover my 10k. My aim is to finish, I'll be happy with that!

Kids are good... Pol had a temperature yesterday but it went just as it came... amazing.. .had a great day today... he's a trooper. Love my kids. Never get tired of saying it... they're my life.

Read some really good quotes today, quotes found on the course of marathons and halves... too funny but really motivating... will think about them to keep me going!

Time for bed... 11:15 again... will I ever get to bed at a decent time????

Monday, November 16, 2009

Not that hard

Well... back on track and it wasn't at all hard (so far)... it's easy also being at work and having to follow a schedule, not having a fridge near by or a cabinet full of goodies... still... I did it no problem and I'm proud of it! I have to learn I can eat something *not allowed* but that's it... the fact that I have something doesn't mean I have to get out of control and keep eating and eating... I consider myself an overeater, a compulsive overeater (don't know if it makes sense) and I'm sort of taming myself into having control. Hard when food is the *enemy*... but trying!

No running today since I went yesterday and like to allow a full day's rest to the body. Plus yesterday's run was looooooooooooong. I think I am ready for my 10K... I know what it is to run/be on my feet for over an hour so I'm hoping I do well... just want to finish. I'll be happy with that!

Kids are great! Paula's back 100%. Just realized how peaceful it was in the mean time, LOL! Jan's a teddy... he's adorable! And Pol's on the go... growing really fast, communicating really well, doing more and more everyday... I love my kids, I adore them... they're my life!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

A long run

Ok, so after the bad eating and the binging I've sort of made up for it. Went for a long, slow run... I run for a total of 1hour, 07minutes and 13 seconds. Distance was 5.16 miles... only 0.84 more miles to make 6, that's how far I'll be running on the 29th... think I can make it. On the not so bright side... I run in pain... my leg hurts, but I don't want to stop... I've been stopped for 3 years, and that's more than enough.

I hope I've learnt my lesson and I control my eating again... it's sooooooooo easy to spoil/fall off the wagon. And it's so difficult to keep on track... but it's got to be done. I've got great reasons to do it so... here I come!

I love running... I will run a marathon when the day comes!!!

Out of control

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa please help... how can I be so daft as to spoil things this was after the huge effort I've been doing for over a month???? I hope this is the end of it... going for a run tonight no matter what and getting back in track as of now... I'm old enough!

Extremely tired... nights are crazy with baby but no excuses... I must control myself, go running as planned and be good!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Bad girl

Been bad all day... after all it's taken me to be good and I spoil it by esting trash... sigh... No more comment...

Friday, November 13, 2009

Cheated

And big time... not only did I have a little candy at school... I had McDonald's for dinner... bummer! Why did I do it? Plus, I didn't get to go running since I had to take Paula to the ER... well... tomorrow will be a better day I'm sure!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tired

I am tired today... Pol wakes up at night and I go to bed late. It's 10.30 pm now... maybe I shouldn't be blogging and should be in bed... I really need to rest some or else...

Things at work are good although the 5s are not interested in the new project and are being pesty, oh well... ho-hum!

Been good food wise yet one more day. Hoping for a nice run tomorrow. I know I'll be tired when I go but I'll go anyway! Need to do my strength training... I'm sure it would improve my performance a lot!

Kids are good, Paula's still hoarse and not as lively as usual but otherwise ok.

Not much more... going to look for a CD... will need lots of luck!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A good day

Well, just that... a good day... work was good. I like my coworkers very much, we make a good team. We work hard and I'm seing results... I'm happy!

Kids are great... love them to bits. Paula went to gym and had a great time. School was good too! Jan was good and happy. And Pol was super sweet and very empathic (if the word exists...), he's great! What a lucky mom I am!

And I went for a run... I clocked 3.28 miles in 40:19. Slow but a bit better... loved my run... hard at the beginning but then, it went on its own...it was great. Can't wait for the race on the 29th... I imagined my Paula crossing the finish line with me and my eyes watered... too bad they won't be there. I'd love them to be... it'd be sooooooooooooo special to have them with me!

So all in all a good day... have no veg/salad at home now so I guess it'll be fruit for dinner!

Off to have a shower... I well deserve it!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Another day

Yet another day... just a day... been good food wise... haven't had the yogurts though... I just coulnd't face them, but nothing forbidden today!

Had a few things done... finally sent the photos in to be printed so my lovely daughter will be super happy! I have played with the kids, fed Pol mid-afternoon to see if he was in better spirits... he just wanted to go to bed! Spoon fed him at night. We'll see how that goes... he loved it though! He's growing sooooooooooo fast... my baby...

Lovely run yesterday. Hoping for another one tomorrow. Only 19 days til race day... so exciting, yet so nervous!

Paula's been reading in English understanding everything she read... I'm over the moon!

I love my kids... they're the best thing that's ever happenned to me... thank you babes!

Monday, November 9, 2009

A good did

Monday again... back to work. Work went good. Did lots of stuff and love my work mates. The kids weren't too bad and the 2 worse ones of all weren't there so it was quite pleasant.

I was good food wise today. Wasn't hungry at all so that's good, very good! I did have a little extra yesterday but I think I'm not overdoing it at all!

I went for a run. I felt tired, my legs feel really tired but did my best time yet. Nothing to shoot rockets about but made up for my run on Friday and my disappointment after it. I just love the feeling after running... it's amazing! I had an energy gel before going. I don't think it did anything then again, I don't know what would've happenned if I hadn't taken it! Running my 10K on the 29th... only 20 days to go! Counting today's run, I should get 9 runs in before the 10K so hopefully I get there in good shape!

Really tired so off to bed I go, it's 11 pm, bout time I went, right?

I'm going to do this, I can do this... control is my pending subject... being able to control when there's good food about but easy does it. I hope I've lost a bit more before my 39th birthday on the 28th. The race is my self present! I think running with my brother will be great even if I only see him at the beginning and then at the end where he'll be waiting for me!

I can do it!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Been bad...

Hello! I'm here again... it's been a few days I think.

I am really tired so I should really be heading to bed but I thought I'd update first. It's been a good week at work. Things are falling into place and it's so much nicer and *easier* (as easy as it can get). I'm enjoying it and loving my work mates.

Both Paula and Pol had a temperature yesterday but have been ok today. Let's hope they're on the mend! Jan's been soft but holding on.

Run 3 times this week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Didn't go today cause we've been out all day and got home too late. It was late, cold and I was exhausted. My runs were good. I took a *test* on Friday to see how far I could go pushing it. I was disappointed... I thought I'd have run faster but no... a bit discouraging, then again, I guess I was tired from running Monday and Wednesday and after not having run 10 days before that. Anyway, that was the run and it's now time to look ahead and never back. The thing is that I have the 10K on the 29th and right now I feel like I won't be able to do it :(

I saw the doc about my leg and he said it's fine but it hurts a bit... I'll see how it feels on my next runs. Also saw the nutritionist. I'm 5k down so that's good! Also saw a trainer and he'll design my very own training program, thus the *test* I took on Friday. With the data I gave him, he'll design a program to fit my needs. Can't wait!

Controled my eating all week but failed today. Went to a friends house and after having a salad for lunch I have some ice cream and some chocolate biscuits in the pm... oh well... time to look ahead again and be good, keeping on track!

Hoping to run 3 times next week too at least. Got to get ready for my 10K with my bro... it's going to be great having him with me although he'll take off and we'll meet again at the end!

Ok, gotta get things ready for the am. I'll keep updating. Need to chin up... a good rest would do!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Falling off the wagon...

Hi! It's been a little while... been away and just have had no time for anything. But now I have a moment so... here I am!

My little Pol, my little baby's 1 already... he was one on Friday... now, how on earth did that happen? Time's gone by way too fast... not while at it but looking back... my gosh... a year ago I was at hospital. Pol was a tiny baby that could do nothing on his own and look at him now... I so treasure those memories!

Ok... it's been the city's fair so we only had a 3 day week (working wise) last week and it was special with special things planned everyday which made it even more special. Loved it as children had lots of fun!

On Thursday we headed for Port Aventura, a huge amusement park about 2 hours drive from us. The kids had an absolut blast... it was just sooooooooo worth it... such a lovely family time together! Instead of going to the fair in town which is filthy and expensive we went over and slept over too. Found a great offer and can't wait to have that offer again and go back. Seing the spark in my kid's eyes was priceless!!! Loved every minute of it although Paula was scared of the vampires... after all it was Halloween!!!! So we went on Thurs and came back on Fri. The night at the hotel was great and in the am we were all awake waiting for birthday boy to wake up... too funny... he made us wait until 8:45, what a champ!

Yesterday was a very easy day... not much except taking baby to the docs... a double ear infection... decided to take his temp as I felt him hot, otherwise, no symptoms! He's been ok since except for today at snack time when he's thrown it all up... he had a temp again, which he hadn't had since yesterday... shocking to say the least. Thanks heaven for Dalsy (ibuprofen), he's happy as can be! Will be taking antibiotic for a week and hopefully he's feeling all better tomorrow... also 2 teeth, actually 3, coming through... poor fella, all at once!

We went to the fair today just to take a look. We had told the kids no rides since we had gone to the amusement park already and 2 days in a row but we said just 1 ride and they were thrilled although they could tell the difference! They had a blast and were so thankful we let them go on that one ride. They're really cute! I loved the food and crafts fair, as usual, although there were lots less stalls due to the crisis, still it was very nice and we went early enough not to find lots and lots of people on *the* day, since the whole province is in the city!

We've spent the afternoon at home since Pol had a temperature again. We did blow a candle for his 1st birthday and we sang happy birthday to him... he's such a cutie pie! Now dad's taken Paula and Jan to his parents to see the fireworks from their balcony and I'm staying home with baby to put him in bed as usual. It's so nice and peaceful!

As for me... have fallen a bit off the wagon, not 100% but haven't been as good as I should have... eating wise I've had a few forbidden items and I haven't run in a week... I don't know what's up wether it's the weather/season, my thyroid or just me but I'm extremely exhausted. Funny now that Pol's sleeping the night through and so I am I'm more tired than ever... I have new shoes and want to get out there... I'm sure the light savings thing's got to do with it because it's since we changed the time I haven't been running. I have a 10K race on Nov. 29th so I better get my butt into gear!

I have to be a good girl. It's all about control. I can do it. I have to do it. Just do it Jacky... it only depends on you girl... it's just that food is so yummy... darn food!

Love my kids!